I am so bad at keeping up to date with this blog, I apologize. This has been one crazy week, as I was saying in my last blog America is becoming my home and the place I feel a sense of belonging just like England was my home and the country I loved, the USA is taking its place.
Sunday this week was my day off, as usual I rang home to check in to find they were not answering the phone, or getting my texts, I got a message later on in the day on twitter from my brother informing me they were in London. Which was fine, just meant I'd have to wait a few days to chat, no problem. I went out with some friends to the local lake which was beautiful by the time we got to it. I had read on google maps it was really close, but after 20 mins of driving I was sure we went the wrong way. We tried turning around, but still something seemed wrong, so my friends and I decided to go down a small side road to turn around, after making the turn, we realised this was no side road but rather the entry to the highway. The only time I had been on the highway previous to this had been highly traumatic with lorries cutting me up and cars not letting me get on. Luckily it was absolutely fine and I had friends who were able to guide me to the right exits, another highway later and going down the same original road again we had finally arrived, just to find out the google map directions were to the wrong side of the lake. However we were so hungry we decided we would just sit up on a very uneven patch of grass and have our picnic there.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Home and away.
After a lovely day with clean fresh air, I went home in a good mood, turned on my computer and was met with images like this:
Even after contacting my family and finding out they were safe I was really freaking out. It had felt like someone had snapped an elastic band and I was suddenly right back into the position I was in when I first arrived, english girl lost and trapped in an unfamiliar country. My good friend took me out that evening to take my mind off of it for a few hours and while it worked it hadn't stopped me worrying. I wouldn't be happy until my family were out of london and home, then once they were I started thinking about all the people I knew who also lived in London. I contacted who I could and haven't heard anything since so I am hoping no news is good news.
Now the riots are in Bristol and in places I was so close to living in, had I for one reason or another not gone to the states, I can't even begin to describe my feelings. One level I am happy I am here are not there in the middle of it all then on a whole other level I feel like I need to be there I feel like people are going to look back in 50 years and share their stories, or not. I have no idea of the actual scale, I have no idea what the general psyche is. I am now in limbo, I am not american but I don't feel english either my heart is in neither country and I don't know what to so with these emotions. I have had to stop watching the news as every time I saw the images of london and bristol I remembered walking down those streets.
What will England be like when I get home? This will all blow over soon enough I am sure, but how long will the scaring last?
I can't go to kings cross without sparing a thought for 7/7, nor can I go to camden and not feel sad about the fire, years after this has happened.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment